Eric took me to Medieval Times to celebrate my birthday a week early, as my bridal shower falls on my actual birthday and that whole weekend is going to already be a whirlwind.
So, after a delightful day of breakfast at M.Henry, book gorging at Half-Price Books, and getting a new phone, we found ourselves in the merry kingdom of Schaumberg, Illinois at the castle-like structure that houses the infamous Medieval Times.
I had a blast.
I could pretend to be too cool and say it was cheesy (which, duh, it was) but it was a truly fun and unforgettable experience.
We were in Royalty seating in the Green section, which meant we got to root for the Green Knight (aka, blatantly the bad guy.) We got souvenier programs, green flags to wave, crowns, and a tasty meal of tomato soup, chicken, ribs, and pie – all of which you eat with your hands, which isn’t nearly as strange as it sounds, I promise.
There’s a loosely-structured plot about the audience being guests at a tournament to celebrate the signing of a peace treaty, but – Gasp – the Prince is kidnapped. There’s sword fighting and jousting and gorgeous horses performing tricks. There’s also a Falconer who shows up and lets his beautiful falcon soar through the crowd (sometimes just breezing over your head.) There’s a King and a Princess and a charismatic announcer/Chancellor. The Knights, though, do most of the hard work. These six guys work their butts off, and the crowd loved them. Other than our beloved bastardy Green Knight, we dug the Red&Yellow Knight too. Funny dude.
What can I say?
At twenty-seven, I had a great time at Medieval Times.
I cannot imagine how amazed I would have been at seven.
(People with kids, seriously. Take them to this.)
Also, like the good American consumers we are, we had beer in collectors holographic glasses and bought silly memorabilia: a light-up sceptre and a wooden battle-ax. Thank you.
If you’re interested, here’s the official Medieval Times website.

