the joy list: wedding edition (61-70)

Consider this the wedding edition of the joy list, as these next few things have been making me super happy in the past few days.

61. My bridesmaid dresses.  Classic, yet purple, which is everything I wanted. And, once again thanks to Nordstroms, they’re a total steal.

62. The song Eric and my first dance will be to. It’s kind of a secret. Sssh!

63. That my wedding cake has raspberry filling and will have blackberries ON it. Sensational!

64. Three words: Purple wedding shoes.

65. The probable location of our bachelor/bachelorette party.

66. Thinking about what song I’m coming down the aisle to.

67.  Figuring out flowers with our lovely florist. Sensation Lilacs! Who knew?!

68. Dreaming about honeymoon destinations…

69. Helping my Mom find HER dress.

70. Knowing it’s rapidly approaching. Bring it on.

the joy list (51-60)

Look, I’ll get to 100 eventually.

51.  Jane Eyre: Because it’s the best book ever written, and I’m riveted each time I open it.

52. Simon Pegg: I saw the “Doctor Who” episode he did a week or so ago, and it made me realize that Pegg is always a joy to watch, be it in “Shaun of the Dead,” “Hot Fuzz,” “Run, Fatboy, Run” or anything. Clearly, he’s having fun. And it translates.

53. Oreo Cookies: ‘Nuff said.

54.  Guinness Cake: I like making it more than I even like eating it, and I especially like hearing people’s reactions.

55.  Samantha/American Girl: I have nothing but fond recollections of, as a younger girl, poring over the new American Girl catalogue and dreaming of pretty things. My Samantha doll is a sight to see these days, her hair ratty and matted and dressed like something out of Gray Gardens, but.. it was all good fun.

56.  Vanity Fair Photo Spreads: There is something about VF that lines up the best photographers, best subjects, and best ideas for photo shoots. I’ll spend hours looking at them if no one stops me.

57.  The Marx Brothers: If I need a laugh, all I need to do is enlist Groucho, Chicago, and most particularly Harpo.  It was anarchy, it was madness, but it’s flawless. Even the stupider movies.

58.  Sushi: It’s more the experience of going with someone to EAT sushi, but I think it’s about as fun as food can be. I should really learn to use chopsticks, though. Forks are just NOT authentic.

59. Singing showtunes to the cats: I’m a nerd, whatever, but I get a big kick out of singing edited versions of Broadway classics to Oz and Magellan. Some of my favorites? “I feel you.. Magellan..” to the tune to Johanna from Sweeney Todd. “Magellan, I’ve just met a cat named Magellan” to the tune of Maria from West Side Story. “Oz-a-mania, this cat has swept the nation!” to the tune of Will-a-mania from The Will Rogers Follies. They stare at me like I’m a loon, but deep down I know they love the attention.

60.  Grammar: Whether I’m discussing with Mom, Bob, or Eric, correcting grammar in publications ranging from the always-riddled with errors Alpena news to The New York times… is fantastic. So there.

(61-70 coming soon!)

the joy list (1-50)

100 things that bring me joy.

Nothing is off-limits.

Shallow things count.

Not necessarily in any order.

(These are the first 50.)

1.  Eric: (Please see above photo. I don’t think I need to say more.)

2.  Oz and Magellan: The joy bugs themselves. I see why it’s been said that pets add years to your life. It’s hard to be sad and upset when a cat reaches out a paw for you, as Oz is prone to do.  They provide a much needed dose of silliness each and every day, and I’m far too attached to them. I love these guys.

3.  Memories of Buddi: My dear wonderful Buddi was an Akita/mutt who I was fortunate enough to spend 15 years with. It still makes me smile to think of her wet nose, the way she smelled like hay, her sweet spirit, and what a troublemaker she was.  She got drunk on rotten apples fallen from a tree once. Seriously.

4. Documentaries: I like learning things, and I also find documentaries to be one of the coolest uses of the film media. When done right, like “Monster Camp,” “The King of Kong,” or the chilling “Jesus Camp,” it can open your eyes to a whole new, real, world. I’m interested in the real world, and have a great appreciation for filmmakers bold enough to let the story tell itself. Also – I adore MTV’s “True Life,” which I’m including here.

5. Frankenstein: The book, and the lore of The Shelleys/Lord Byron/William Godwin/Clare Clairmont, etc. I find it all very grand and fascinating.  Mary Shelley had depression, which is also interesting to me. In fact, I think I can say that though I love the novel, I loved “The Monsters” which is about the people who were there for the creation of the novel even more.

6.  Horror franchises: Though it’s no secret that my greatest love is Nightmare on Elm Street/Freddy Krueger, I am also a die-hard Hellraiser, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw, Saw, and Child’s Play fan. (Friday the 13th never really did it for me, but then again.. I saw Jason X in the theatres, so…) There’s something just so amazing about the evolution of a horror franchise in all it’s peaks and valleys. Love it. Can’t wait for the NOES remake – Jackie Earle Haley for the win.

7. Tea: Iced or hot. Green, black, orange, or any color. Any time of day. It’s the most perfect beverage on earth.

8.  Britney Spears: Who I’m fascinated by. First of all, her music makes me want to dance and run, which is awesome. She’s not the greatest singer in the world, but who cares. Girl can entertain. And I adore her, openly. Crazy or not.

9.  Travel: Sigh. Thinking about travel, dreaming of places to travel, reading about traveling, playing around on travelocity pretending I have unlimited funds to go places, watching the Travel Channel… it’s wonderful. (Though flying stresses me out, getting there is always worth it.)

10.  Bookstores: Well, books are one of my favorite things, and a whole store full of them equates to so much possibility. I don’t want a kindle. I want paper and ink and printings. I want editions and the smell of books. I like browsing shelves, picking up books, putting them down, sitting on the floor. It’s an experience I cherish.

11.  Nutrition and Fitness: Almost two years ago, when I started on my weight loss journey, I knew nothing. Since then, I’ve become a mini-textbook of information about nutrition and fitness, and I get a kick out of finding new recipes, new workouts, and new ways to get in/stay in shape. I honestly enjoy tracking my calories and hanging out on the sparkpeople.com message boards (and not just for grammar highlights like “I need to loose weight..” “I have so much quilt on my shoulders…” etc)

12.  5ks: “I like 5ks more than I like running,” said Laura Blegan before the Hot Chocolate 5k last week, and she was so right. 5ks are the reward for running. The goody bag, the people, the excitement.. it makes it all worth the slogging hard work of training.

13. Super Mario Bros 3: I can only say I’m good at one video game, and that is Super Mario 3, which I still contend is the greatest game of all time. Still, playing it thrills me. I also enjoy the rest of the Mario Universe (particuarly Princess Peach), but nothing is like SM3. If you play me, I will beat you.

14. Writing: I don’t know if I’m good at it, but I most certainly enjoy it. My favorite part of theatre was always “stories,” and I like to create them on paper. I also really like pen on paper over typing, though admittedly typing is faster and spellcheck a blessing from The Computer Gods.

15. Blogging: Maybe I’m fooling myself, but I like the idea of a public diary. I like the idea of a sounding board and a place to keep record of things I’ve done and how I’ve evolved as a person. I like going back to old blogs and remembering things. I like reading blogs, and I like having one. It’s fun. (And sometimes, it surprises you.)

16.  My Wedding Dress: It hangs in my closet like my great rebellion, not costing a million dollars and yet being everything I could dream of. I can’t wait to wear it. It’s gorgeous.

17.  Talking about theatre with Bob: It’s like having a soulmate. When you’re both so seeped in theatre lore that you can complete each other jokes and other people can’t even understand your conversations, you know you’ve got a friend. I can’t even begin to explain the geeky games we play on gchat. (Can you connect Emily Skinner to Marilyn Manson?)

18.  Legally Blonde, the musical: Haters, shut up. In the past 10 years, I can’t recall a score to a musical being as touching and moving as LB, and the cast recording brings me endless, incredible joy. From the amazing performances (Laura Bell Bundy owns) to the great uplifting melodies (How many times have I run to the remix of the title song?) it’s motivating, and inspirational, and gorgeous, and perfect to me. And that’s enough.

19.  Holidays: Right? Who doesn’t love holidays, whether it’s Christmas or whatever. They generally equate to days off work, which everyone loves, and are usually spent in pursuit of fun things. Huzzah.

20.  Painting: I’m not terribly good at it, but I enjoy zoning out with paints.

21.  Alpena: “Home sweet Home.” Or something. No, it’s not a perfect town – far from it – but it’ll always ring true in my mind as a safe haven. Going “home” for the holidays is a nice thing, and I can’t imagine missing it. (The house above is not mine, but if you’re from A-Town, you know it.)

22.  Doing things for people: I am currently so excited about Eric’s birthday surprise plans. Things like that, making people happy, rock my socks.

23.  Costumes: Halloween. Theatre. Whatever. I like dressing up. I always have.

24.  Farmers Markets/Art Fairs/Etc: Though I dislike crowds, I like places of community there good people come together to share their art or peddle their wares.

25. Honest, well-produced theatre: There’s a lot of crap in the world of theatre, just like there’s a lot of crap in movies, music, and television. When a see a show like “The Elaborate Entrance of Chad Deity,” it gives me hope that there are still people in the arts who have vital, interesting things to say and care about saying it in interesting ways, free of pretense.

26.  Time Out Chicago/Chicago Reader/local ‘zines: You can get general news from a big paper like the Tribune or the Sun-times, but if you want to know about things going on in a city like Chicago (or even Lansing, Michigan) you gotta turn to smaller papers and magazines. I pick up Time Out and the Reader with anticipation, and Lansing’s CityPulse is a mini-adventure in itself.

27. Quotes: Much of the world’s great wisdom has been passed down through quotes.

28. Pumpkin Pie: I love it so much I (usually) only allow myself to eat it in November. This year, I had it in October, and it was simply grand.

29. Las Vegas, Nevada: I love the over-the-top splendor of the Vegas strip. I can’t wait to go back in February. It’s a city of silliness and excess, and it’s just awesome.  My heart about exploded in the Paris hotel.

30. BBC America: God bless you. For Doctor Who, Little Britian, Kitchen Nightmares, and You are what you eat. Addicting.

31.  Orchids: Such an interesting flower. So much life.

32. Animals: I’ll watch puppy videos on youtube for hours, don’t tempt me.  I also

33. Museums: I love museums - be it the Art Institute of Chicago or something like the Shedd Aquarium (which I think counts.) So much information and history. That reminds me, I need to visit the Field Museum.

34. Amusement Parks: Roller coasters are decidedly NOT my thing, but I like rides like the Tilt-a-whirl a lot.  I have nothing but great memories of childhood summers at Cedar Point, and had a great time a few monts back at Six Flags.

35. Shopping/Malls: Much like bookstores, I like the possibility of malls and shopping.  So many choices, who knows, maybe the thing that’ll change your life is right around the corner?  Stores I particulary love include Macys, Sephora, Nine West, NY and Company, and – don’t judge me – Payless Shoes.

36. Skittles/Tootsie Rolls: Re #11, I can’t gorge on candy as much as I’d like, but that just makes a bag of Skittles or a Tootsie Roll SO much more enjoyable.  Also, M&Ms and Snickers for the win.

37. Purple: The color. Every shade. I also like grapes, and that fake grape taste/smell.

38. Office supplies: Sharpies, colored paper, stickers, manila things… Oh man. Good times.

39. Bejeweled: I could play that damn game all day every day.

40. Board games: I don’t play enough Monopoly, or Clue, or Life, or Battleship.

41.  Literature: This is a pretty HUGE collection of individual things, and I thought about doing individual books and writers, but.. that would have been the whole list. Special mention: Stephen King, Christopher Moore, Jane Austen, The Brontes, Bram Stoker, The Hobbit, J.K. Rowling, and Judy Blume.

42. True Blood: Best show ever on television? Perhaps. With the best cast ever? Perhaps. (Though if you put it and Arrested Development in a room to duke it out, I don’t know who’d win, honestly.)

43. Batgirl: I just think she’s grand. In the Yvonne Craig version that is. None of this Alicia Silverstone crap.

44. Autumn Leaves: I really don’t like that they’re a sign of cold weather to come, but I think they’re the most gorgeous thing nature’s got.

45. Bodies of water: I grew up in Michigan, a land of a batrillion lakes and rivers, so I’m attached to water and don’t like to be land-locked.  The Great Lakes, even in their polluted parts, are astonishing, and I’m a big fan of the Atlantic Ocean as well. I haven’t made it to any other oceans yet, but it’ll happen.  Long Lake, an inland lake in the Alpena area, is my favorite. It’s so clean and calm.

46. Microbreweries: I’m more in love with the idea of microbreweries than I actually am with beer as a beverage, but when it’s right (like the Buffalo Bill’s Pumpkin Ale) it’s so right.

47.  Sledding: So much fun.  One of the few good things about winter.

48.  Clever Bakeries: Like Bleeding Heart in Chicago, I like Bakeries who don’t sacrifice their sense of humor for taste. Want a sprinkle covered cake ball? Done.

49.  Baths: I miss having a bathtub with a stopper, let me tell you. My last 3 apartments have been without the ability to take baths, and I miss it dearly. Bubble baths. So relaxing.

50.  The Ipod: I can’t express my love for Bleeker, my 80G ipod Classic. He carries all my music around so I can listen to whatever I want, whenever I want – on the bus, on the train, the treadmill, while cleaning… 8000 songs, endless possibilities.  I’d be lost without him. Also without my pink Shuffle, Farrah, who accompanies me on 5ks.

51-100 will come Monday! Stay tuned!

Susan Boyle – or, “How, in order to be talented, you’re supposed to be hot.”

I don’t live under a rock. I - like everyone else in the world – have been touched by the story of Susan Boyle, who is a contestant on Britian’s got talent. I’ve seen the video, I was moved, no lie. (Video here.)

…But, as time has gone on, I’ve been wondering something – and TV Without Pity called it out today.

5 REASONS THIS SUSAN BOYLE CRAP NEEDS TO STOP

“How, Exactly, is She Inspiring?

I’m honestly just asking here. Is it because she has the strength to go on living despite not being gorgeous? That seems to be what I’m being told day and night. How amazing! I know we all already knew this, but the media really, truly is the worst.”

…Though I agree she has a remarkable voice, it’s this whole thing that NO ONE believed she could possibly be a good singer because she’s not attractive.  It’s a sick sign of our times that unattractive people are viewed as such losers that this very nice never-been-kissed 47 year old woman shows up and can sing and people lose their freakin’ minds.  My Mom often goes on rants about how if Janis Joplin or Patsy Cline were alive and performing today, they’d never make in it the music business, which is driven by image (ESPECIALLY if you’re a woman. Ugly dudes can be rock stars and sex symbols, and that’s fine.)

GASP! A normal looking woman over the age of 21 can sing!

Stop the f-in presses!

Just another example of how all people should aspire to be is hot.

You know, in case you had other goals. They’re not necessary.

(That said – You go, Susan Boyle. I think you’re swell.)

Screw you, Fox – “More to Love”

Fox to debut plus-size reality dating show.

It’s not the show that offends me.

(Please, it’s Fox.. Can anything that comes out of Fox offend anyone anymore?)

It’s this part – They’re seeking “…interested plus-sized women, as well as a husky hunk, ready for the romantic adventure of a lifetime.”

Because, as we all know, a male of normal height-weight ratio would NEVER be interested in a larger-sized woman.

Because looks are all that matter.

If you’re a hot chick, you can get naked and prance all over TV to win the heart of a Bachelor (The Bachelor), a Millionaire (Who wants to marry a millionaire?), an aging “rock star” (Rock of Love 1, 2, and Bus), or a C-level R&B star (For the love of Ray J), a guy who producers want you to THINK isn’t a millionaire (Joe Millionaire), or a country boy (whatever that horrid CW show was with the Country Bumpkin dude and the city-skanks who had to wrangle chickens to win his heart..) You can also compete for the chance to be a model, a Pussycat Doll, or any number of other American fantasies.

If you’re a young, ripped dude, you can compete for a hot chick (The Bachelorette), a sorta groupie/stripper type (Daisy of Love), or even… GASP….an older woman (The Cougar – who is, I believe, 40? And hot..)…

But.. if you’re a person of size, this show is for you.

Because, as Fox would like to remind you, you don’t fit in anywhere else.

Ugh.

(I appreciate jezebel for pointing this out.)

barbie! you scandalous wench!

Things I learned about Barbie today – thanks wikipedia:

[I might be bored. Just sayin'...]

1. “A standard Barbie doll is 11.5 inches tall, giving a height of 5 feet 9 inches at 1/6 scale. Barbie’s vital statistics have been estimated at 36 inches (chest), 18 inches (waist) and 33 inches (hips). According to research by the University Central Hospital in Helsinki, Finland, she would lack the 17 to 22 percent body fat required for a woman to menstruate.  In 1965 Slumber Party Barbie came with a book entitled How to Lose Weight which advised: “Don’t eat.” The doll also came with pink bathroom scales reading 110lb, which would be around 35lbs underweight for a woman 5 feet 9 inches tall.”

2.  “In 1997 Mattel joined forces with Nabisco to launch a cross-promotion of Barbie with Oreo cookies. Oreo Fun Barbie was marketed as someone with whom little girls could play after class and share “America’s favorite cookie.” As had become the custom, Mattel manufactured both a white and a black version. Critics argued that in the African American community Oreo is a derogatory term meaning that the person is “black on the outside and white on the inside,” like the chocolate sandwich cookie itself. The doll was unsuccessful and Mattel recalled the unsold stock, making it sought after by collectors.”

3.  “In 1993 a group in the United States calling itself the “Barbie Liberation Organization” modified Barbie dolls by giving them the voice box of a talking G.I. Joe doll, and secretly returned the dolls to the shelves of toy stores. Parents and children were surprised when they purchased Barbie dolls that uttered phrases such as “Eat lead, Cobra!” and “Vengeance is mine.”^“

^{4.  “}In 1997, the Danish-Norwegian pop-dance group Aqua released a song called Barbie Girl. It contained lyrics such as “You can brush my hair / Undress me everywhere” and used graphics similar to the pink Barbie logo. Mattel argued that this constituted a trademark infringement and filed a defamation lawsuit against MCA Records on September 11, 1997. In July 2002, Judge Alex Kozinski ruled that the song was protected as a parody under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.^“

Beauty: Dove Campaign

Though they are, admittedly, a beaauty company, at least they appear to have a conscience.

today’s quote

“The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.” – Virgina Woolf

Seeking Art

(“Blue Fog and Jetty” by Johnathan Andrew.)

I recently took down the previous wall decor in my room.

And now I need new art.

I like: Purple things, London/Travel, Black and White photography…

Suggestions?

il bel far niente (the beauty of doing nothing)

“...Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to theme parks to wars, but that’s not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today….Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure.) Americans don’t really know how to do nothing.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert, “Eat. Pray. Love.”

….yeah, I think I’m adding “Learn to do nothing and accept it as okay” to my new years resolutions. As I look around at my friends, colleagues, and co-workers, it’s obvious. Who doesn’t want to just take a year and go to Italy for no reason other than to…. be? This book is sensational. If you can’t get to Italy, India, or Indonesia, you can at least read Gilbert’s memoir.