Blogs can be boring. Herb and I were talking. And yeah, this happened. 
10 questions from Herb.
HERB: So, you’re on the bus, and a Lincoln Park trixie, and a Wrigleyville goomba, on either side of you, are yapping at high decibels on either side of you. In your dream scenario, how would you react?
JAMIE: From my sheath, I pull out a giant samurai sword and go all “Kill Bill” on their asses while those seated around me cheer me on. A mass slaughter ensues. And scene.
HERB: Music speaks to many, including both of us, except for most of the lame crap spewed on top-40 stations. Who is one modern pop star who you really enjoy, that has talent, and you would recommend?
JAMIE: Despite this new record business, I’m still supporting Kelly Clarkson. She’s got the voice, the integrity, and the brains to have a long and fabulous career. Even if “My December” isn’t the blockbuster people wanted, I think she followed her heart, and now that she realizes that having a successful pop career means selling-out once in a while, she’ll be fine. I became a fan on Big Band week of Idol, and I’m still a fan. Beat “Since U been gone.” I dare you.
HERB: Describe what you have, if forced to every day for an entire year, for lunch, in minutia.
JAMIE: I’d go off on a fettucini tangent, but I’d weigh 900 pounds before the end of the year – so I’m going to say nothing would be better than a really amazing salad consisting of the following ingredients:
Ahem.
Romaine lettuce, Grape tomatoes, cucumbers (not-peeled, MOM!), purple cabbage, carrot pieces, bean sprouts, sunflower seeds, hard-boiled egg pieces, and Italian dressing. Served with really amazing home-brewed (not from a pop machine) black iced tea, that’d be heaven….and now I’m really hungry. Thanks, Herb.
HERB: If you could gender-bend, favorite male role in a musical to perform.
JAMIE: Am I a douche if I don’t say Tevye from Fiddler? Yes, it’s the Big Papa of all male musical roles, but really… There’s Max Bialystock from The Producers giving Tevye a run for his money as best male musical theatre role ever…but if I was actually given the chance to play any role currently played by dudes, I think I’d absolutely have to pick The Balladeer from Assassins. What an amazing role. What amazing music. I’ll learn to play banjo, it’ll be fine. That, or a “This Jesus must die” dude from Superstar. Or the title role in Tommy. Whatever.
HERB: Sushi? Love or hate it? If you love it, what’s your fave? If you hate it, what’s your one exception?
JAMIE: I don’t honestly have a lot of experience with sushi, but I like what I’ve had so far. I should really branch out and have more, I know. There is a really awesome place, though, by the Chopin Theatre over by Bucktown, that I enjoyed a lot. I honestly don’t remember what I had, though. Other than it was good.
HERB: Why do grape candies, sodas, etc., taste nothing like grapes?
JAMIE: I know, right. They taste…purple. Perhaps because grapes are so awesome and ordained by the gods, they’re magical and no chemical compound can match their actual flavor, so fake grape was created to allow cough syrups to get an upgrade? Maybe?
HERB: As someone who knows very little about musical theater, tell me the 10 DVDs and/or recordings I should go out and rent/borrow to acclimate myself.
JAMIE: ONLY 10??!! Ok, if I’m going to educate you on the history of musical theatre in 10 DVDs/recordings or less, some great pieces will have to be excluded.
1. Oklahoma (Hugh Jackman production, the DVD) – With this production, not only do you get to see the most classic musical of all time, you also get to see it reinvented by a brilliant director – Trevor Nunn – and an amazing choreographer – Susan Stroman. It’s gritty, it’s true to life, and it’s awesome. Not to mention the amazing cast, including Tony winner Schuler Hensley giving the definitite Jud Fry for the ages.
2. Gypsy (Merman, Midler, Daly, Lupone, whomever – just not Bernadette) Probably the best all around written musical of all-time. Just perfect in so many ways.
3. West Side Story (Original Bway cast) – There’s never been anything like this show, and there never will be again. It’s perfect.
4. Fiddler on the Roof (Mostel cast recording is awesome, but the Alfred Molina revival sparkles and includes all the music for once) Gypsy and Fiddler would have to fight to the death for best all-around musical of all time, but they’re both so incredible they cannot be missed. Listen to the opening number – “Tradition” – and tell me I’m wrong. Other than the opening of Ragtime (see #9) it might be the most perfect opening of a musical ever.
5. The Fantasticks (original cast recording) I’m biased, yes, but this show proves that bigger isn’t better, that a simple show with a big heart will last forever, and that love endures. It’s beautiful. The original cast stars Jerry Orbach and the splendidly insane Rita Gardner. Listen to no other recordings. Ever.
6. The Phantom of the Opera (Original cast – ignore the CRAP movie) Say what you want, but it’s a great piece that still gives me chills, and is arguably the biggest musical ever. It’s important, historically, and what fun would life be without Sarah Brightman induced eye-rolling?
7. Company (Sondheim) Ok, it’s a legendary showtune-geek battle to choose which recording. You can go with the original if you’re a Broadway snob, but I grew up on and learned the show from the sparkly and better produced Debra Monk/LaChanze 90′s revival. Is it the best score to a musical ever? Perhaps. Is Sondheim a genius? Yes.
8.Cabaret (Sam Mendes Revival cast recording) – I’m all about reinevnting classics, and this production of the Kander and Ebb classic will introduce you to a handful of Broadway standards, as well as Alan Cumming being fierce in his Tony-winning role.
9. Ragtime (Original cast recording) – Arguably the best American musical of the past 50 years, it’s just an all-around amazing piece of theatre and the cast is sensational.
10. Parade (Original Broadway cast) – of the new crop of young composers, Jason Robert Brown leads the pack, and Parade is – so far – his masterwork. A really tough story told with really beautiful music.
**I regret that the confines of the number 10 stopped me from including a number of equally historic pieces like A Chorus Line, Rent, La Cage Aux Folles, and Sweeney Todd, and pieces I love like Tommy, Les Miserables, and Mack and Mabel.. But if you’re serious about learning musical theatre, they’ll be wonderful surprises for you.:)
HERB: How many text messages do you use, on average, per month? (I will out myself as a text-whore, and say I use approximately 1000).
JAMIE: I’m such a geek. Texting isn’t in my plan, so rarely do I text. Maybe 15-20 a month.
HERB: Would you rather have 10 pairs of shoes from Payless, or 1 pair of amazing shoes that cost oodles?
JAMIE: I’m a low-key kinda girl and Payless is the bomb, y’all. I’m currently wearing Payless flip-flops, and I wouldn’t trade ‘em for the world. Besides, amazing shoes would break, and then where would you be?
HERB: Paris or Lindsey?
JAMIE: Though she’s a big ol’ spoiled brat disaster monster these days, I’m going to say Lindsey. Purely because I have yet to understand the appeal of or reasoning behind Paris Hilton and her popularity. At the very least, Lindsey is a talented kid who made (and continues to make) bad choices and has a screwed-up family with parents who want to be famous, themselves. Dina and Michael Lohan baffle me. Stop talking to the media and focus on your kids. And the welfare of your kids, not turning them all into stars. Calm down, Lohans! As for Paris, I don’t believe any of her “I’m a new person” bullshit, but if she does manage to become smart and get a purpose, I’ll admit I was wrong. I just hope I get a chance to. This whole “Brit pack” – Nicole, Paris, Lindsey, Britney – epidemic is making me fearful. Is it going to take one of them killing themselves (or rather, more likely, some innocent person) for someone to give them a collective slap on the face? Grrrr.
This was fun.
