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Naughty Scrabble

…. it’s the little things that make it all better.

VideoKids

Math can be funny – :)

The Friday Herb Challenge – 8.31.07

TODAY’S BLOG CHALLENGE FROM HERB:

Connect these in at least 7 steps…

1. gouda to post-it
2. Charmin ultra-quilted to lamppost
3. Brian Dunkleman to sarcophagus
4. the Greek letter Gamma to top hat
5. Rainbow Brite to garbage disposal

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1. Gouda rhymes with…
Bermuda, which makes me think of
Corona, which I drank a lot in
Mexico, when I was there for
Christmas a few years ago to study
Film, which reminds me of a great movie I love:
Romy and Michelle, where they claim to have invented
post-its.

2. Charmin Ultra-Quilted is..
Luxurious, which reminds me of…
Fur coats, which were worn often by…
Joan Collins, who starred in a tour of…
Legends, which was originally done by Carol Channing and…
Mary Martin, who was a renowned Broadway star much like…
Tommy Tune, who starred in a flop musical called…
Busker Alley, which featured a dance routine to the title song where Buskers danced on….
lamposts.

3. Brian Dunkleman was on American Idol with…
Ryan Seacrest, who looks remarkably like a ….
Wax Dummy, which reminds me of the movie….
House of Wax, starring….
Paris Hilton, who is aiming for the sainthood which should have been granted to….
Mother Teresa, who I truly feel deserves a ….
Sarcophagus.

4. The Greek Letter Gamma rhymes with ….
MammaJama, which looks like….
Mamma Mia, which starts with M just like….
Monopoly which is a board game like….
Clue which has a character named….
Professor Plum who dresses like….
Willy Wonka who wore a big crazy….
top hat.

5. Rainbow Brite was an awesome doll I had when I was younger, much like
Barbie, who comes in a variety of guises, including
A Ballerina. Ballerinas are always very
Skinny, so people assume they’re
Anorexic, so sometimes they might put
Dinner down the
DISPOSAL instead of eating it?

The Friday 5 – 8/17/07

(“10″ is hard. Herb and I are switching to “5″)

1. You are in charge of creating a new ad campaign for the selling of brussel sprout flavored tea. What is your slogan?

Easy. Remix “Do the Hussle..” “Do the Brussel!” I smell a phenomenon.

2. Who was your favorite high school teacher and why?

Mr. Jacques was my AP English teacher for 11th and 12th grade, after two years of regular English classes where I watched teachers make kids hate such amazing pieces as Julius Caesar and To Kill a Mockingbird. Thank CHRIST for him. In his class, we did Moby Dick, The Grapes of Wrath, Hamlet, and even when I hated the texts (Heart of Darkness, anyone?) I had an awesome time hearing his rants and raves about things – and all I know about grammar (Which, admittedly, isn’t always showcased in this blog..) is because of him. Awesome man. Awesome class.

3. Why does no one use the word facsimile anymore?

“Fax” is shorter, and we’re all just lazy.

4. What would you replace the little arrow that shows up on your desktop with your mouse with if you could on computers worldwide?

I think everyone should have individual choice when it comes to their desktop arrow replacements. If you’re into magic, have a fairy. If you’re into sports, use a soccer ball. Whatever. It’s all about self-expression. Personally, I’d go for seasonal things..like a leaf in the fall, a snowflake in the winter, a flower in the spring, and a beachball in the fall – and on holidays they should automatically change, too.

5. Choose another career, not related at all to the arts. What would you do?

I’d become the proprietess of a quaint little coffeeshop/bookstore in outer London.
Or something with animals, not necessarily a vet (’cause please, like I’d make it through med school..) but maybe running some sort of farm for old retired racehorses and greyhounds so they don’t get put to sleep after their “useful” years are over. My Mom always talks about doing that, and the older I get the more spectacular an idea I think it is.

Have a great weekend, y’all!

10 questions from Herb, vol. 2

HERB: What does the word “contention” mean to you?

JAMIE: The dictionary definition of contention is “The act or an instance of striving in controversy or debate.” I’m more attracted to the idea of striving for something, be it a goal, project, or ideal, than I am to the controversy or debate part. Without goals, whats the point of existence? Seriously.

HERB: Are you a brand loyalist in regards to toothpaste? Why or why not?

JAMIE: See, here’s the stupid part. I LOVE Aquafresh. Seriously. And Cinnamon Crest. But do I use them? No. I guess I’m just a toothpaste whore with favorites.

HERB: When you randomly come across the 1-in-12 bottle cap give you a free soda, have you ever actually tried to redeem it?

JAMIE: Once, and the guy at 7-11 (that I had purchased the drink at) wouldn’t accept it. So now I don’t even bother. I’m bitter and cynical like that.

HERB: Please describe the best practical joke you have ever played.

JAMIE: That would be the day I, as choir president, had to get everyone’s T-shirt size during class while we were all learning a song. Everyone was sitting in their chairs, and I must have tied at least 7 people’s shoelaces to their chairs. Then we all had to stand up, and it was funny. I win.

HERB: Favorite flower?

JAMIE: The correct answer is .. these enormous pink daisy things (see below.) I should really find out what they’re called someday. My cousin had them for her awesome wedding, and they were so gorgeous.

HERB: If you could WILDLY change your hair, color and cut, with it going back to exactly how it was a week later, what would you do?

JAMIE: I’d have to do short, spiky, and pink. Seriously. Sick fantasy of mine. Blame Tonks from Harry Potter. Blame P!nk. Blame Kelly Osbourne….Blame whoever.

HERB: What’s your money note?

JAMIE: I don’t actually know the note. Is that crazy. It would be the “Oh Gods, Oh Gods, are you THERE..” from Once on this Island’s “Waiting for life.” That’s where I belt to before I have to work hard.

HERB: What is your feeling about hand sanitizer?

JAMIE: I like it. I have “Goofy Grape” hand sanitizer on my desk. It smells like grapes in the bottle, but when you put it on your hands it smells like wine. Me and my alcoholic hand sanitizer.

HERB: What scent(s) remind you of home in MI?

JAMIE: Apples. Cow manuer. That scent of soil after it rains: Lilacs.

HERB: What does this quote by Archimedes mean to you? “Give me where to stand, and I will move the earth.”

JAMIE: It’s kind of hard to explain – Obviously it’s about mathematics and the principles of force. But there’s also another layer to it – the idea of, if you point me in the right direction, I can rock this bitch. Which I like. A lot.

10 Questions from Herb…

Blogs can be boring. Herb and I were talking. And yeah, this happened.

10 questions from Herb.

HERB: So, you’re on the bus, and a Lincoln Park trixie, and a Wrigleyville goomba, on either side of you, are yapping at high decibels on either side of you. In your dream scenario, how would you react?

JAMIE: From my sheath, I pull out a giant samurai sword and go all “Kill Bill” on their asses while those seated around me cheer me on. A mass slaughter ensues. And scene.

HERB: Music speaks to many, including both of us, except for most of the lame crap spewed on top-40 stations. Who is one modern pop star who you really enjoy, that has talent, and you would recommend?

JAMIE: Despite this new record business, I’m still supporting Kelly Clarkson. She’s got the voice, the integrity, and the brains to have a long and fabulous career. Even if “My December” isn’t the blockbuster people wanted, I think she followed her heart, and now that she realizes that having a successful pop career means selling-out once in a while, she’ll be fine. I became a fan on Big Band week of Idol, and I’m still a fan. Beat “Since U been gone.” I dare you.

HERB: Describe what you have, if forced to every day for an entire year, for lunch, in minutia.

JAMIE: I’d go off on a fettucini tangent, but I’d weigh 900 pounds before the end of the year – so I’m going to say nothing would be better than a really amazing salad consisting of the following ingredients:

Ahem.

Romaine lettuce, Grape tomatoes, cucumbers (not-peeled, MOM!), purple cabbage, carrot pieces, bean sprouts, sunflower seeds, hard-boiled egg pieces, and Italian dressing. Served with really amazing home-brewed (not from a pop machine) black iced tea, that’d be heaven….and now I’m really hungry. Thanks, Herb.

HERB: If you could gender-bend, favorite male role in a musical to perform.

JAMIE: Am I a douche if I don’t say Tevye from Fiddler? Yes, it’s the Big Papa of all male musical roles, but really… There’s Max Bialystock from The Producers giving Tevye a run for his money as best male musical theatre role ever…but if I was actually given the chance to play any role currently played by dudes, I think I’d absolutely have to pick The Balladeer from Assassins. What an amazing role. What amazing music. I’ll learn to play banjo, it’ll be fine. That, or a “This Jesus must die” dude from Superstar. Or the title role in Tommy. Whatever.

HERB: Sushi? Love or hate it? If you love it, what’s your fave? If you hate it, what’s your one exception?

JAMIE: I don’t honestly have a lot of experience with sushi, but I like what I’ve had so far. I should really branch out and have more, I know. There is a really awesome place, though, by the Chopin Theatre over by Bucktown, that I enjoyed a lot. I honestly don’t remember what I had, though. Other than it was good.

HERB: Why do grape candies, sodas, etc., taste nothing like grapes?

JAMIE: I know, right. They taste…purple. Perhaps because grapes are so awesome and ordained by the gods, they’re magical and no chemical compound can match their actual flavor, so fake grape was created to allow cough syrups to get an upgrade? Maybe?

HERB: As someone who knows very little about musical theater, tell me the 10 DVDs and/or recordings I should go out and rent/borrow to acclimate myself.

JAMIE: ONLY 10??!! Ok, if I’m going to educate you on the history of musical theatre in 10 DVDs/recordings or less, some great pieces will have to be excluded.

1. Oklahoma (Hugh Jackman production, the DVD) – With this production, not only do you get to see the most classic musical of all time, you also get to see it reinvented by a brilliant director – Trevor Nunn – and an amazing choreographer – Susan Stroman. It’s gritty, it’s true to life, and it’s awesome. Not to mention the amazing cast, including Tony winner Schuler Hensley giving the definitite Jud Fry for the ages.

2. Gypsy (Merman, Midler, Daly, Lupone, whomever – just not Bernadette) Probably the best all around written musical of all-time. Just perfect in so many ways.

3. West Side Story (Original Bway cast) – There’s never been anything like this show, and there never will be again. It’s perfect.

4. Fiddler on the Roof (Mostel cast recording is awesome, but the Alfred Molina revival sparkles and includes all the music for once) Gypsy and Fiddler would have to fight to the death for best all-around musical of all time, but they’re both so incredible they cannot be missed. Listen to the opening number – “Tradition” – and tell me I’m wrong. Other than the opening of Ragtime (see #9) it might be the most perfect opening of a musical ever.

5. The Fantasticks (original cast recording) I’m biased, yes, but this show proves that bigger isn’t better, that a simple show with a big heart will last forever, and that love endures. It’s beautiful. The original cast stars Jerry Orbach and the splendidly insane Rita Gardner. Listen to no other recordings. Ever.

6. The Phantom of the Opera (Original cast – ignore the CRAP movie) Say what you want, but it’s a great piece that still gives me chills, and is arguably the biggest musical ever. It’s important, historically, and what fun would life be without Sarah Brightman induced eye-rolling?

7. Company (Sondheim) Ok, it’s a legendary showtune-geek battle to choose which recording. You can go with the original if you’re a Broadway snob, but I grew up on and learned the show from the sparkly and better produced Debra Monk/LaChanze 90’s revival. Is it the best score to a musical ever? Perhaps. Is Sondheim a genius? Yes.

8.Cabaret (Sam Mendes Revival cast recording) – I’m all about reinevnting classics, and this production of the Kander and Ebb classic will introduce you to a handful of Broadway standards, as well as Alan Cumming being fierce in his Tony-winning role.

9. Ragtime (Original cast recording) – Arguably the best American musical of the past 50 years, it’s just an all-around amazing piece of theatre and the cast is sensational.

10. Parade (Original Broadway cast) – of the new crop of young composers, Jason Robert Brown leads the pack, and Parade is – so far – his masterwork. A really tough story told with really beautiful music.

**I regret that the confines of the number 10 stopped me from including a number of equally historic pieces like A Chorus Line, Rent, La Cage Aux Folles, and Sweeney Todd, and pieces I love like Tommy, Les Miserables, and Mack and Mabel.. But if you’re serious about learning musical theatre, they’ll be wonderful surprises for you.:)

HERB: How many text messages do you use, on average, per month? (I will out myself as a text-whore, and say I use approximately 1000).

JAMIE: I’m such a geek. Texting isn’t in my plan, so rarely do I text. Maybe 15-20 a month.

HERB: Would you rather have 10 pairs of shoes from Payless, or 1 pair of amazing shoes that cost oodles?

JAMIE: I’m a low-key kinda girl and Payless is the bomb, y’all. I’m currently wearing Payless flip-flops, and I wouldn’t trade ‘em for the world. Besides, amazing shoes would break, and then where would you be?

HERB: Paris or Lindsey?

JAMIE: Though she’s a big ol’ spoiled brat disaster monster these days, I’m going to say Lindsey. Purely because I have yet to understand the appeal of or reasoning behind Paris Hilton and her popularity. At the very least, Lindsey is a talented kid who made (and continues to make) bad choices and has a screwed-up family with parents who want to be famous, themselves. Dina and Michael Lohan baffle me. Stop talking to the media and focus on your kids. And the welfare of your kids, not turning them all into stars. Calm down, Lohans! As for Paris, I don’t believe any of her “I’m a new person” bullshit, but if she does manage to become smart and get a purpose, I’ll admit I was wrong. I just hope I get a chance to. This whole “Brit pack” – Nicole, Paris, Lindsey, Britney – epidemic is making me fearful. Is it going to take one of them killing themselves (or rather, more likely, some innocent person) for someone to give them a collective slap on the face? Grrrr.

This was fun.

Ok. I just laughed out loud.

In case you wondered…

Thanks, Herb, for the link that eventually led me here.

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Happy 4th of July weekend, y’all!