Really, Kanye West?

I’m not a fool.

I recognize that MTV is simply not a relevant TV station anymore (Music Television that has all but abandoned music in favor of crap like The Hills/The City/whatever?) but for a long time in my teen years, it was the coolest thing ever.

So I wanted to write about this…

I think Pink’s twitter feed said it best: “Kanye West is the biggest piece of s— on earth. Quote me.”

Last night, teen country/pop sensation Taylor Swift won her first VMA award for Best Female Video, an event which clearly excited her. Her speech began with a big smile and excited comments about how she sings country music and always wondered what it would be like to win a VMA, but never thought it was possibile. Clearly, this was exciting as hell for her.

Then came Kanye West, who seemed to be under this impression that it was his right to walk onto the stage, take the mic from Taylor, and to declare they Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” (Which had been in competition with Swift) was one of the greatest videos of all time. He then handed the mic back to Swift and left the stage, but it was too late and MTV went to commercial. The crowd took up Swifts cause, booing Kanyes outburst and chanting “Taylor, Taylor” but the damage was done.

“I was excited to be onstage because I just won the award. And then I was excited that Kanye West was onstage. Then, I wasn’t excited anymore.” – Taylor Swift.

And poor (clearly rattled) Beyonce sat there in shock and disbelief, then later showed herself to be a true lady of class. Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” won Video of the year, and instead of giving her own speech, she brought Taylor Swift out with her and said the following: “I remember being 17 years old, up for my first MTV award with Destiny’s Child, and it was one of the most exciting moments of my life. So I would like for Taylor to come out and have her moment.”

“F— u Kanye. It’s like you stepped on a kitten.” – Katy Perry, via twitter.

Really Kanye?

You can claim you’re “real” as often as you like, but this isn’t your first time taking someone else’s moment because you’re an egomaniac and an asshole. (In 2006, he jumped onstage at the MTV Europe Awards when he lost and complained that his video was better.) There is a thing called class, Kanye. Part of being classy is keeping your opinions and actions in check and not being a glory hog. You may not have agreed with the award winner, but you know what? Shut up. Go get some therapy or something. You’re a multi-millionaire musician, it’s a shame you feel the need to resort to stunts in order to feel constantly recognized.

(MTV should also be slapped in the face, for while we all recognize that this is a station that will do anything for ratings, and that the VMAs are about antics rather than music, they should have had better security in place. Look how easy it was for someone to just jump onstage and do whatever they want. Fortunately, it was a rapper with low self-esteem rather than an actual psycho, but seriously…)

(Meanwhile, a 12 year old child bride in Yemen died during childbirth on Friday, and I blogged about this. Wow, this world is wacked out. http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/14/yemen.childbirth.death/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)

Why I’m done with Perez Hilton

Three American Pop Culture icons passed away this week – and forgive me, but all I can think about is how incredibly OVER Perez Hilton I am.

In thinking back over the memories I have of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson, it strikes me that what we consider fame today is very different than the fame of years past. Ed, Farrah, and Michael were all examples of hard-working, talented people who deserved all the acclaim they recieved. (Say what you will about Michael Jackson and the weirdness of his later years, but he was – in his younger days – a musical genius.)

Today’s celebrities are famous, often for no reason. Who are these useless celebrities we now have, from a fake docu-drama on MTV called The Hills? What? They’re not actors. They’re rich kids faking a reality show, and a reality show that isn’t even interesting. Lindsay Lohan hasn’t contributed anything as an actress or singer in years worth watching or listening to, yet she’s way more famous now for being a disaster than she ever was as a performer.

Take Perez Hilton.

Here’s a dude who got noticed for making fun of celebrities, something almost everyone does anyway. Somehow, from that, he managed to ride on the coattails of the famous and make himself surreally famous at the same time – until now, he’s a legit celebrity for no reason. He, like Paris Hilton from whom he took his nom-de-plume, is famous for nothing.

A few days ago, Perez was making headlines after claiming that Black Eyed Peas member Will.I.Am punched him in the nose. Or rather, claiming all this via twitter – because Perez is so stuck on attention that instead of calling the police, he twittered the following:

“I’m in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please.
I was assaulted by Will.i.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.
Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel.
I spoke to my lawyer. I really need to talk to the authorities. Please come to the SoHo Met Hotel. Have called the police. Need them here.
The Toronto police are here now. Thank you. Please stop calling them.” — LA Times

What Perez FAILED to blog about was that Will.I.Am (or his manager, the details are still fuzzy) punched him after Perez hounded him outside a club for a while loudly using a term derogatory to gays. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out what the “f-bomb” in question is.

This is the same guy who shouted loudly from the rooftops about respecting the gay community after the whole Miss America thing – where he asked Miss California Carrie Prejean if she believed in gay marriage. Carrie, a Christian, said she didn’t believe it was right. Though it’s not a popular opinion, I hold that if we’re going to be American and declare our right to Freedom of Speech, we do have to let it go both ways (even if we think what the person is saying is stupid, which I do.)

Perez acted like Carrie was the antichrist for speaking against the gay community, and now he TWITTERS his being upset about getting punched in the face for teasing someone with derogatory slurs?

(FYI – The video is available on TMZ. I would have punched him, too.)

Time Magazine has a lovely article about celebrities twitters after the announcement of Michael Jackson’s death. (See here.) Celebs from MC Hammer to Jane Fonda to John Mayer all express their sadness and best wishes. And then there’s Perez, who writes: “Grieving is not entertainment. That does not need to be public. That adds nothing to the story. I won’t be running any pics. Please follow.”  Nice of him to try and make it all about him, huh?

This comes mere hours after he speculated in a now-removed post that Jackson’s rush to the hospital was probably a publicity stunt…

I used to be a loyal Perez follower back in the day. He was fun and catty. Now, he’s turning into a tragic joke – a young dude who thinks he’s hot shit and deserves all the attention he gets. In truth, Perez himself is not that interesting, seems to be a hypocritical douchebag, and has attributed nothing to the world except being mean. The world doesn’t need help being mean.

I’m done with fake celebrities. I’m done with Perez Hilton.

(Edit: Perez, consider yourself Stupidhead #12 on my list. Welcome to the list.)

Stupidheads: The New York Post

I’m simultaneously mesmerized and confused by this sudden media circus surrounding Jessica Simpson’s weight since she appeared at a concert recently in high-waisted pants that made it evident she’s gained a few pounds since the Daisy Duke days. But she is not by any means fat. She’s a girl who eats a sandwich once in a while.

Leave her alone. 

And mad props to The View, Ashlee Simpson, Kim Kardashian, and Emme for telling the media to shut up about it.

BUT THEN – In tribute to the Jessica fiasco, The New York Post geniuses decided to create a list – of “50 Fat Celebrities.”

“In light of the mild hysteria surrounding recent pictures of “Jumbo” Jessica Simpson, we felt it was important to the public discourse to provide photos of 50 fat celebrities.” – The New York Post. (As soon as anyone figures out WTF that means, let me know.)

The list is here.

http://www.nypost.com/photos/galleries/gossip/celebp/20090129_fat/photo01.htm

A. Clay Aiken is not fat.

B. The Snapple Lady? Really? She’s still considered a celebrity? Back the fuck off. (As my friend Tara said – “If you have to put the Snapple Lady on the list, maybe you should reduce your number.” Totally.)

C. Leave Topanga alone!

Seriously. What? Why? Who needed this?

Is there really NO other news in the world?

Stupidhead #10 – Sarah Palin

hee

Originally uploaded by confettigirl

In tribute to the great opus of comedy that will surely be tonights Vice Presidential Debate, I’ve decided to add Sarah Palin to the moxie list of Stupidheads.

There are so many reasons for this – if you’ve been at all paying attention to the news you know what I mean. I’m sure she’s a nice enough woman, but seriously – she’s in over her head, prone to gaffes, can’t answer a direct question, throws around the word “Maverick” to a gross degree, plays up her “down-home-ness” by eliminating the “g” at the end of every word she says (“I’m just thinkin’…runnin’….workin’….) as if it’s going to make “real” Americans think she’s the second coming.

I’m also annoyed that every time she’s asked a question and flubs it, the media points it out, and then the Republicans say she’s being picked on and that the media is sexist. Isn’t it more sexist to not let her fight her own battles? To keep her hidden away? She’s a dumbass. Let her exercise her god given right to make a dumbass of herself.. by herself.

There’s a good reason the media’s access to her has been limited. I can’t wait to see what happens tonight when she’s on her own.

Oh, and Joe Biden is my homeboy.

Bank of America continued!

So Bank of America FINALLY got around to crediting me the $200.00 for the deposit I made that they had lost.

…And now, they’ve credited me for it again.

They’ve given me $400.00

Someone at their facility really sucks at math.

I’ve got my Chase debit and credit cards. The MOMENT the new rent check clears, it’s over.

Oh, and banking drama updates.

1. Went to Chase and opened a new checking and savings. They were lovely.

2. Bank of America still has not located, returned, or credited me for the missing $200.00.

Mhmmm.

Dear Chase Bank ….

(Disclaimer: Chase Bank are NOT stupidheads. I tagged this blog as such so everyone could follow my banking exploits in an orderly fashion)

Dear Chase Bank -

Tomorrow, I’m coming in to your East Lakeview branch to open a checking and savings account with you.

Then, as soon as Bank of America gets their thumbs (and my lost check) out of their asses, I’m going to take everything I have there and bring it over to you, along with my heart.

Because, while I’m fairly sure that – deep down – you’re just as evil as Bank of America, you can’t POSSIBLY do a worse job of managing my money and providing Customer Service than Bank of America has. (I could probably hand my money to a bum on the sidewalk and have an easier time of it.)

So, Chase – This is me saying Hello.

I look forward to meeting you in person tomorrow.

Love,
Jamie

P.S. PopQuiz – How many digits are in YOUR Social Security #?

Bank of America lost my money.

So — Bank of America doesn’t know where the check I deposited is.

I had to have Erin, the lovely personal banker assigned to me, file a reg-E, which is apparently what happens when ATMs eat your check.

So, the claims department will be contacting me.

God only knows what that means.

But yeah — they lost it.

Mhmmmm.

Jamie vs Bank of America: Day 6 Update.

Dear Bank of America -

It’s been 6 days since my original deposit.

Do you know where my money is?

I’m guessing no.

Not amusing anymore.

I’m going to call on my break today (AGAIN) and complain/inquire as to the wherabouts of my money.

This is ridiculous.

Stupidhead #9: Bank of America

Dear Bank of America -

(Oh, you’re going on the stupidheads list. Forserious.)

Once upon a time, about 6 months ago, I was a happy customer of the LaSalle Bank, who’s branches were friendly and bright and who’s people were intelligent and savvy – saving my ass when my wallet got stolen, answering all my questions, making prudent financial information available to me. When I first moved to Chicago, I found myself at a loss to find many National City banks in the area, and as such had to put my money somewhere. After a terrible experience with the Chase bank by Clark and Barry in Chicago (seriously, why be assholes to wide-eyed newbies to the city who want to give you business? Dumbasses.) I, almost in tears, headed right across the street to The LaSalle Bank, and was greeted warmly and treated like my business mattered.

And all was well. I’d heard rumblings that Bank of America was taking over the LaSalle Bank, and though it slightly saddened me, it didn’t make me lose sleep.

Until May of this year (2008) when Bank of America actually started taking over the LaSalle Bank and their customers.

In May, about a week before I was to head out of town for Mike and Megan’s wedding, I got a letter in the mail with a brand new Bank of America debit card and instructions not to use my LaSalle Bank card anymore. I’m savvy, I’m aware, so I obeyed – cut up my LaSalle Bank card and bid it adeiu.

The first sign something was wrong was when I got to Taylor, Michigan for the wedding and went to an ATM, and found that my checking balance was roughly $800.00 less than it was when I left Chicago. I wasn’t panicked, there was still money in it, so I called up Bank of America (who’s ATM I had visited and who’s customer service number was on the receipt I had gotten) and inquired as to my actual balance. The lady on the phone seemed nice, until she asked for my SSN. I gave it to her – and she promptly responded that it was “too short.”

Think about it, readers. How many digits is YOUR SSN?

9? Yeah. So’s mine.

I argued with her that SSNs were only 9 digits long – backed by a room of friends who were frantically counting the digits of their own SSNs and realizing, yes, they’re 9 digits long.
But the snarky lady on the phone (no longer friendly) assured me that my 9 digit number – which I repeated MULTIPLE times to her – was too short.

Then she told me that not all the LaSalle Bank customers information had been transferred to Bank of America yet, and it would be complete soon.

Groan. So hmm. I hung up, annoyed and figuring – “Whatever, I can make it through the weekend. I’m in Michigan. Can’t do anything else here.”

I get back to Chicago, go to my online banking statement (computer wasn’t available at the wedding – hotel life, aah) and all is fine. I let it go, thinking it’s probably just one dumb woman who doesn’t work for much money and hates her job.

In July, I went back to Michigan and along the way deposited a check in a Bank of America ATM in Lansing, Michigan – and it took 5 days to clear. When I called, their excuse was that it was because it was out of state.

Huh. Remind me never to leave the country – I might not be able to get back.

Fast forward to yesterday. My Mom’s amazing, and sent me money – so I head to the Bank of America ATM at the LaSalle Bank branch I’ve been using non-stop for the past 3 years and have never had a problem with – and I deposit it. I get a receipt, with the fancy new scan of the check on it, so I assume all is well. I carry on with my day.

Today, 8am, at work, I open my online banking. Normally, there would at least be a record of the deposit, even if it hadn’t cleared yet. There’s nothing. At 1:30 right before my lunch break, still nothing. So I call up good ol’ useless Bank of America yet again.
…and am, this time, told that not only is my SSN too short, but that my debit card isn’t in their system.
Mind you, it’s a BANK OF AMERICA debit card that they mailed me that I’ve been using for months now. Um. I can access it through my online banking.

I talk to a variety of women, getting more and more frustrated -

Woman #1 – Asks me to spell my name three times, tells me my SSN is too short, and mishears my debit card #. There’s no record of me, she says, and transfers me to…

Woman #2 – Asks for my address three times, my SSN is again too short, and tells me that since I was a former LaSalle Bank customer, all the records won’t be officially transferred from LaSalle Bank to Bank of America until October. She transferrs me to the actual branch of the bank that I deposited the check into.

Woman #3 – A LaSalle, now Bank of America employee, is lovely and does her research. She has a record of me – and tells me that, even though it doesn’t even make sense to her, though that branch has a big ol’ Bank of America awning and Bank of America fancy schmancy ATMs and I have a Bank of America debit card, they’re still a LaSalle Bank, and that since the records are all in limbo my money should go into my system tomorrow. She says it’s all good – especially since I have the receipt, and to come in Saturday if it still hasn’t gone through.

So yeah. Apparently, until October (5 months after the transfer of customers) I don’t exist to Bank of America, except when they need to ding my account for an overdraft – which, twice now, their delay in processing information/money has led to….

I no longer trust Bank of America to have my back. As soon as this check, my next paycheck, and my bonus clear, I’m going back to Chase. Other than my first bad experience with one cranky teller – I’ve got lots of friends who use that bank and have never heard anything bad.

Take your money and run, folks.

Seriously.

Before they lose record of you and your funds completely.

Just lookin’ out for you.

Love, me.