Alice in Wonderworld

The state of the world is… crazy.  It’s like a dark Wonderland full of strife, passion, pain, and joy.  There’s war happening and diseases taking lives, and it all looks kind of bleak – but the sense of change a’comin that holds firm in the air.

This is the stuff that weighs on my mind a lot recently.

For example, I’m a straight female, and the rulings against gay marraige technically don’t directly affect me.

Except that they do.

Three of the people I am closest to on this earth (and a number of other friends and acquaintences) are gay, and for the life of me I cannot see any good reason to deny them the same rights my fiancee and I have, just because between us we happen to be one man and one woman.

The Bible? Fine, if that’s what you believe, but I don’t remember America being a nation in which it’s mandated we all share the same religious beliefs. And pardon me for saying it, but I thought that was the point.  If you believe the Bible to be the direct word of God, cool. You’re free to believe what you want – just the same as I am. And just the same as my gay friends should be.

I find the “sanctity of marriage” to be a ridiculous concept, thanks to what 2009+ years of straight marriage have done to it. Why people are trying to claim marriage is a universally revered thing is nonsense in a world with arranged marriages between nine year old girls and sixty year old men, and TV shows where strippers compete to marry a washed-up rock star.  Not to mention, we’ve got so many cheaters and affairs we can’t even talk about them all. Some even make national headline news.  If you asked me to name the most stable couple I know, I’d show you Bob and Gator.  They’ve been together nine years (which is longer than my parents were married) and they’re simply a nice couple with a condo and pets. 

I hope we can get to a place where I can tell my kids “When I was your age, homosexuals couldn’t get married,” and it’ll seem an unbelievable concept to them.

You cannot force your beliefs to become the beliefs of all.

As someone who grew up sans religion, I take the seperation of church and state very seriously. 

Your belief in God should have no bearing on my female rights to control every part of my body, and to do what I choose with it. I include abortion in this. (I describe myself as pro-choice but not necessarily pro-abortion, and don’t even get me started on abortions after the first trimester. ) However, I am not going to call down those who disagree with me as sinners and bomb their houses, you know? I’m also not irrational enough to believe that I can make everyone on earth feel the same way.  I mainly just want the ability to rule my own uterus, thanks. I’d like to pass some legislation that limits the testicles, and see how the predominantly-male Congress reacts to that. (Maybe I’ll even get a Bible quote to back up my stance.)

 I don’t want to wake up in a world like that of young girls in the middle east getting their faces burned with acid just for trying to go to school. I’m not into fearmongering, but making it harder for women to get access to care for parts of her body harder strikes me as so incredibly sexist I’d like to go chuck copies of The Feminine Mystique at the heads of certain members of Congress. (I will forever hold that if men could get pregnant, abortion would not be an issue.)

As a woman, I feel at risk with current pending legislation. 

As a friend of the gay community, I feel under attack by current legislation.

What’s someone with a uterus and gay friends to do?

I guess my best recourse is to stay informed. Informed about which candidates are making choices I believe in, and which elected officials are holding to their promises (Dear President Obama, I’m talking to you.) as well as supporting causes I believe in.

I feel bad for President Obama.  When you’re put on a pedestal that high, you’re gonna have to come back down to earth.  Faced with drama like the collapse of the banking system (which should have been addresses long before he got to power) it’s got to be rough trying to get your own plans going. I think, even if it’s misguided, he means well.

I wish this Democrat/Republican pissing contest could take a backseat to an actual conversation about the problems of the world, even for a few minutes.

I’d like to slap Carrie Prejean in the face.

I’d like to slap Perez Hilton in the face, too.

Ignorance goes both ways, and knows no sexual orientation.

I would like to believe we’re not raising a generation of narcissistic princesses and ignorant douchebags. However, if you watch MTV’s current shows Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and Teen Cribs, holding out hope becomes trickier and trickier. Sex and fame and money are not what makes you special, and yet people in our “ME” society want attention so bad they’re willing to make utter asses of themselves to get it. (White House Crashers? Balloon Boys Parents? Jon and Kate? Lindsey Lohan?) Intelligence, Purpose, and Character are things worth striving for. Family, Friends, Love, Laughter… Those things will last you longer than botox, rehab, and TMZ exposure. 

(This is what people aspire to?)

I’d like to see Athletes make less money – and teachers make more. I’m starting school for education in a few weeks, as I’ve recently realized the difference I can make in the world isn’t through theatre, but instead through literacy. Really, Kobe Bryant makes $40 million a year? And there are schools that can’t afford textbooks?

I want to leave something more behind than a life long quest to wind up in paparazzi photos and to obtain fifteen minutes of stupid fame. (Better to be Angelina Jolie than Spencer & Heidi, right?)

I used to be a celebrity gossip news surfer, which isn’t something I’m proud to admit. 

Over the past year, I’ve given up on Perez Hilton and the snarky, mean-girl blogs I used to frequent and realized there’s more to the world than who from Twilight is shagging whom.

One of my new years resolutions is going to be to blog …better. Not necessarily more, but better.

I feel like quoting Bob Dylan – “The times, they are a’changin’.”

(Though I’ll let Bruce Springteen say it for me.)

recollections of a fifteen year old fanfic writer

I wrote fanfiction when I was fifteen.

Am I proud of this fact? Not particularly. It’s never cool to write fanfic, right?

I have, however, reached a point in my life (twelve years later) that it no longer embarrasses me.

I realized today that the recent closing of geocities meant that my fanfiction site – long abandoned, but never shut down – was erased. (I still have a few of the files saved, but most of the work is gone.)

….and it makes me feel a little sad.

I learned a lot about writing from my fanfic years – about crafting a sustainable plotline, developing characters fully (especially those with bit parts on the TV show) creating cliffhangers, historical research, and writing outside your comfort zone.

It was a fun, creative, time.

Thanks to geocities, I learned the beginning basics of webdesign, which have remained in my head even to this day and come in handy more than once along the way.

Farewell to you, geocities.

I’ll remember you fondly.

(Update. Since I have now been asked what show it was. Chelsea.)

Really, Kanye West?

I’m not a fool.

I recognize that MTV is simply not a relevant TV station anymore (Music Television that has all but abandoned music in favor of crap like The Hills/The City/whatever?) but for a long time in my teen years, it was the coolest thing ever.

So I wanted to write about this…

I think Pink’s twitter feed said it best: “Kanye West is the biggest piece of s— on earth. Quote me.”

Last night, teen country/pop sensation Taylor Swift won her first VMA award for Best Female Video, an event which clearly excited her. Her speech began with a big smile and excited comments about how she sings country music and always wondered what it would be like to win a VMA, but never thought it was possibile. Clearly, this was exciting as hell for her.

Then came Kanye West, who seemed to be under this impression that it was his right to walk onto the stage, take the mic from Taylor, and to declare they Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” (Which had been in competition with Swift) was one of the greatest videos of all time. He then handed the mic back to Swift and left the stage, but it was too late and MTV went to commercial. The crowd took up Swifts cause, booing Kanyes outburst and chanting “Taylor, Taylor” but the damage was done.

“I was excited to be onstage because I just won the award. And then I was excited that Kanye West was onstage. Then, I wasn’t excited anymore.” – Taylor Swift.

And poor (clearly rattled) Beyonce sat there in shock and disbelief, then later showed herself to be a true lady of class. Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” won Video of the year, and instead of giving her own speech, she brought Taylor Swift out with her and said the following: “I remember being 17 years old, up for my first MTV award with Destiny’s Child, and it was one of the most exciting moments of my life. So I would like for Taylor to come out and have her moment.”

“F— u Kanye. It’s like you stepped on a kitten.” – Katy Perry, via twitter.

Really Kanye?

You can claim you’re “real” as often as you like, but this isn’t your first time taking someone else’s moment because you’re an egomaniac and an asshole. (In 2006, he jumped onstage at the MTV Europe Awards when he lost and complained that his video was better.) There is a thing called class, Kanye. Part of being classy is keeping your opinions and actions in check and not being a glory hog. You may not have agreed with the award winner, but you know what? Shut up. Go get some therapy or something. You’re a multi-millionaire musician, it’s a shame you feel the need to resort to stunts in order to feel constantly recognized.

(MTV should also be slapped in the face, for while we all recognize that this is a station that will do anything for ratings, and that the VMAs are about antics rather than music, they should have had better security in place. Look how easy it was for someone to just jump onstage and do whatever they want. Fortunately, it was a rapper with low self-esteem rather than an actual psycho, but seriously…)

(Meanwhile, a 12 year old child bride in Yemen died during childbirth on Friday, and I blogged about this. Wow, this world is wacked out. http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/14/yemen.childbirth.death/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)

Susan Boyle – or, “How, in order to be talented, you’re supposed to be hot.”

I don’t live under a rock. I - like everyone else in the world – have been touched by the story of Susan Boyle, who is a contestant on Britian’s got talent. I’ve seen the video, I was moved, no lie. (Video here.)

…But, as time has gone on, I’ve been wondering something – and TV Without Pity called it out today.

5 REASONS THIS SUSAN BOYLE CRAP NEEDS TO STOP

“How, Exactly, is She Inspiring?

I’m honestly just asking here. Is it because she has the strength to go on living despite not being gorgeous? That seems to be what I’m being told day and night. How amazing! I know we all already knew this, but the media really, truly is the worst.”

…Though I agree she has a remarkable voice, it’s this whole thing that NO ONE believed she could possibly be a good singer because she’s not attractive.  It’s a sick sign of our times that unattractive people are viewed as such losers that this very nice never-been-kissed 47 year old woman shows up and can sing and people lose their freakin’ minds.  My Mom often goes on rants about how if Janis Joplin or Patsy Cline were alive and performing today, they’d never make in it the music business, which is driven by image (ESPECIALLY if you’re a woman. Ugly dudes can be rock stars and sex symbols, and that’s fine.)

GASP! A normal looking woman over the age of 21 can sing!

Stop the f-in presses!

Just another example of how all people should aspire to be is hot.

You know, in case you had other goals. They’re not necessary.

(That said – You go, Susan Boyle. I think you’re swell.)

Grey Gardens on HBO!

If you’ve seen the documentary GREY GARDENS, you can’t possibly have ever forgotten it. The true story of Big and Little Edie Beale, two relatives of Jackie Kennedy, who lived in a mansion that had fallen to ruin, has captivated people from all walks of life since premiering in the 70s.

Well, it’s finally come time for a movie to be made – And HBO knocked this one out of the park. Drew Barrymore (proving she’s so much more talented than anyone probably ever thought) and Jessica Lange are flawless, spot on, and perfect as the Edies – and the movie goes even further to humanizing these two remarkable women by reinventing what they and the estate must have been like in their opulent and fabulous earlier days. They are also perfectly assisted by a cast that includes Jeanne Trippehorn, Malcolm Gets, Daniel Baldwin, and other notable performers.

I could watch it five more times, no joke.

Brilliant.

In Little Edie’s words, I hope this film wins “90 prizes.”

Rock of Love Bus – the finale

Despite being an intelligent, self-respecting woman with a degree, etc… I sometimes find myself sucked into really bad television.

That said, it’s time to confess my deep secret – and rant a little about the series outcome.

For the past 12 weeks, I’ve been obsessed with Rock of Love Bus. (Ie, Rock of Love, Season 3) the VH1 series where random bimbos from all walks of life compete to win the heart of former Poison frontman and aging “rock-star” Bret Michaels (who meanwhile, has done three seasons of this show – which tells you a lot about the quality of women and relationships he’s been looking for)

Bret isn’t a bad guy. He’s not a dumb guy either. Rock of Love is the #1 show on VH1 – and he’s one of the producers.  He knows what makes for good ratings – and that is scantily clad crazy bitches, generally drunk on the show-provided booze, arguing and screaming at each other (or, if you’re the dream team of Farrah and Ashley, pouring salsa into targeted girls suitcases. You know, whatever.) all in the name of “love.” The ego-boost he feels from these (sometimes significantly) younger women all clamoring over him like it’s Poison’s hey-day all over again can’t hurt either, especially since he’s plastic surgeried and probably bald (as is speculated by the fact that he’s never seen without a hat and a bandana…)

Bret claims that – since this is the final season he’s doing of the show – he’s ready for something real.

I wanted to believe him. So I saddled up and watched the season.

We began the season with a whole passel o’ crazy.

 There was Brittanya, who had dimple-piercings and a complete lack of personality (but threw punches by the end of her reign), Farrah (who spawned the catch phrase – “What the french?” as well as being the single best reality show confessional commentator of all time -”She’s lame.” “Mindy’s lame.” “Lame!”), Ashley (a combination of Amy Winehouse and Paris Hilton, who looked to be the likely winner until it was revealed she already lived with a guy she was in love with), and a whole mess of a disaster who I think was named Nikki (she’s the one above with the nearly-spilling boobs) who was clearly on a whole bunch of drugs the whole time, and participated in a moment at a bar so shocking it got her and another girl kicked off in the first week. (Let’s just say it involved a shot glass and the other girl’s ….hoo-hah?)

There were also other highlights – Brittany Star, a former porn star who immediately latched onto Bret as apparently her only hope to ever find love, and somehow along the way stole the other girls dirty socks – Natasha, who the jury is still out on whether she’s really a woman – Beverly, who wore boots instead of heels, refused to strip at a strip club for Bret, and was more butch than the rest of the girls.  She also had serious anger issues.  And there was Kelsi, who was 22 years old and finally cracked one night – crying drunk on a speedbump outside a venue while Bret was performing… You know, the usual.

All of these girls were requisitely hot, many of the super-fake variety, and all were willing to wear next to nothing and make-out with Bret in groups at any point.

…But, at the finale last night, it all came down to a battle of two women who had become friends early on, and then turned into each other’s most vicious enemies.

In this corner, we had Mindy from Cincinnati – a beautiful, seemingly quite normal nice girl.  Yes, she got in funks and had a sometimes defeatist attitude (after one challenge her team lost - fair and square – she lamented “This is just proof that no matter how hard you work, you will lose.”) but she was the frontrunner – spoke openly of the feelings she had for Bret, and was clearly the best option for any of us who watched the show – if Bret was looking to find actual love, like he kept claiming.

In the other corner was Taya – who was simply – annoying. From day one, Taya trotted around pretending she was prim and proper. She was also a Penthouse pet, which she dropped at every single opportunity – especially once she found out (while taking part in the show) that she was Pet of the year.  She wore Penthouse T-shirts at every turn and everyone around questioned if she was there for Bret or if she was there to promote herself.  Taya looked down on the other girls like Farrah and Ashley for being strippers, even though she was one herself – because SHE was a “featured dancer” (In the immortal words of 3rd place winner Jamie – “Pardon me if I’m dumb, but is there a difference?”) and, when confronted by Mindy in a moment of attempted peace about their mutual insecurities replied – “I don’t have insecurities. I have a nine year old” as if that makes any sense.

In the Dominican Replublic, at night on the sand, both women stood before him – and Bret chose Taya.

Of course he did.

And one of his reasons was that – “You’re this rockin’ hot centerfold.”

I’m not surprised he picked the self-hating centerfold over the girl who actually seemed to have something going on in her head.  Mindy would have been miserable on the road and surely wouldn’t have been cool with him banging groupies at whatever beerfest in Wisconsin he was playing. I’d just grown to expect a little more from Bret than to by default choose the hotter chick – even if she is probably a psycho.

Have fun, Bret.

There won’t be a Rock of Love Bus 4. (Instead, they’re taking former contestant Daisy and doing “Daisy of Love,” .. groan) Also – Ashley, a personal favorite, will be part of VH1’s Charm School.

The Dream Team

The Dream Team

Originally uploaded by confettigirl

Genius.
Absolute Genius.
If you haven’t tuned in lately, these two fine gentlemen have NEVER been so on top of their game before.

Letterman & Ferguson v The Republican Presidental Campaign

Last night, I stayed in my apartment and escaped from the world.

However, I also watched some television that I think folks’ll be talking about for a while.

John McCain was scheduled to appear on the Late Show with David Letterman last night, but due to the economic crisis, he had to cancel and head back to Washington to “save the country.” (Like he’s on Heroes or something) Well, Letterman was not cool with the situation. Especially when the in-house CBS cameras were turned on and McCain was revealed to be getting prepped for an interview with Katie Couric.

 

“You don’t suspend your campaign. This doesn’t smell right. This isn’t the way a tested hero behaves…I think someone’s putting something in his metamucil…He can’t run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sarah Palin. Where is she? What are you going to do if you’re elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We’ve got a guy like that now!” – David Letterman

 

For more highlights –

Also not cool with the situation was Craig Ferguson, who immediately follows him on CBS. Craig, my favorite late-night monologist, used the opportunity to get a little angry. Which I love.

 

 

Remedy for a Snowy Night – in 3 steps…

Last night, as the snow fell onto Chicago by the pound, Brent and I stayed in and made chicken soup and cookies – then did some more catching up on “Ugly Betty: Season One.”

Things I love about this ->

1. Daniel from Ugly Betty (pictured below) – I’m generally attracted to misfits and weirdos on shows.. so naturally, UB is already a classic in my mind. But my favorite character is the – gasp – pretty boy! Is it a testament to the writers of the show, or to Eric Mabius (the actor).. who knows? But, for once, I’m rooting for the pretty. And isn’t changing perceptions what the show is all about?

2. Mrs. Grass soup mix. My Mom used to make this when I was little – and, as I found out, so did Brent’s mom. It was the perfect remedy for a cold-ass snowy night.

3. Cookies. Yeah, the dough was from a tube. Bite me.

Go outside and play

FROM IMDB.COM ->

Nickelodeon to Go Dark Saturday

The kids’ TV channel Nickelodeon is planning to intentionally go dark on Saturday at noon, with announcers telling their audience, “Go outside and play.” The channel plans to remain dark for three hours, after which Nickelodeon says it will air Let’s Play Go Healthy Challenge, produced in cooperation with the Alliance for a Healthier Generation.

Awesome. Go Nickelodeon!