the joy list: wedding edition (61-70)

Consider this the wedding edition of the joy list, as these next few things have been making me super happy in the past few days.

61. My bridesmaid dresses.  Classic, yet purple, which is everything I wanted. And, once again thanks to Nordstroms, they’re a total steal.

62. The song Eric and my first dance will be to. It’s kind of a secret. Sssh!

63. That my wedding cake has raspberry filling and will have blackberries ON it. Sensational!

64. Three words: Purple wedding shoes.

65. The probable location of our bachelor/bachelorette party.

66. Thinking about what song I’m coming down the aisle to.

67.  Figuring out flowers with our lovely florist. Sensation Lilacs! Who knew?!

68. Dreaming about honeymoon destinations…

69. Helping my Mom find HER dress.

70. Knowing it’s rapidly approaching. Bring it on.

the honest bride: the meaning of lilacs

I had a dog, Buddi.

I loved her endlessly, from the moment I met her as a puppy to her eventual passing at a ripe old peaceful age.

In thinking about wedding flowers, I started looking at what would be in season and local, as a way to save money. Daffodils, Tulips, Lavendar, Roses, there were tons of lovely flowers to choose from, and most everything comes in purple, so I had the world in front of me.

And then, at the end of the list, there they were.

Lilacs.

You know how sometimes you just know something is right?

To me, lilacs equal summers at my Mom’s farm in Michigan.  Summers at my Mom’s farm equal one thing: Buddi. In all her silly, stubborn, glory. That dog and her unconditional love were a massive part of my growing up, and something I still look back on with only the fondest of memories. (Along with all the other wonderful creatures who populated the farm over the years – Patches, Holly, Easter, Harriett, Raja, the 9 other puppies in Buddi’s litter and her mother…)

And, Buddi died on April 24th, 2006.

Without realizing that, we set our wedding for April 24, 2010.

By having lilacs in my bouquet on my wedding day, it’ll be – even in a small way – like she’s there with me.

Like they’re all there with me.

And I can’t ask for more than that.

“Bride Wars,” or.. women are all wedding obsessed shrews, dontcha know?

Last night, I stumbled upon “Bride Wars” on TV.

Having seen the trailer, I (like many) was under the impression it would be a charming comedy about two friends battling over their weddings which (whoops!) were both scheduled for the same day.  I assumed there would be chuckles, and hugs, and all would be sparkly well in the end and our two brides would wind up happy and stylish. The end.

So, I’m not sure what the heck happened, but this movie was … crap.  Seriously.

Fortunately, across town, Bob had also gotten sucked into watching it, and we text-heckled the movie in real time.

The plot (what there was of one) centers on two friends – Emma (Anne Hathaway) and Liv (Kate Hudson.)  Emma is a nebbish teacher and Liv is a ballsy lawyer. Both of them have longterm boyfriends. When Emma’s fiancee proposes unexpectedly, Liv pushes her fiancee to propose to her, which he was apparently going to do that very night (a Hollywood miracle!) The girls plan to be each others maids of honor, but their weddings are GASP! Booked on the same day at the Plaza, which is the only venue either of them will consider getting married at. Of course, a battle begins.  Liv sabotages Emma’s spray-tan, Emma sabotages Liv’s hair appointment. Blah blah blah, they realize they’re both sad to have lost their best friend, have a giant fight, and …tada! It ends with a wedding.

First, let me say that I forgive Anne Hathaway for taking part in the movie. She’s one of the most endearing screen stars out there, and so much more talented than her whiny, hare-brained role in this movie showcased. Also, her strip club number was just.. embarassing to watch. No offense, Annie, who has proven she can in fact sing and dance, but whoever choreographed that thing… geez.

Second, let me say that watching Kate Hudson onscreen is like choosing to listen to fingernails on a blackboard. I know she’s Goldie Hawn’s daughter, but she’s missing all her mother’s charm. And why does her pushy loudmouth character sleep in cats eye eyeliner? ….And, I don’t think anyone is naive enough to buy that she was ever a fat girl. Hearing her lament that she gained five pounds and can’t fit in her Vera Wang wedding dress while she’s standing there in her underwear with her washboard abs showcased was ridiculous.

(Meanwhile, as a former fat girl… Let me say that any girl who used to be fat and has managed to get herself into the shape Kate Hudson is in is NOT going to eat fifteen cookie buckets and .. a stick of butter?… when her wedding is 3 months away. Think about it. You know she counts calories like a mofo.)

Third, I certainly hope Candace Bergen and Kristen Johnson were paid highly for participating. Since they were wasted in stupid roles. (Bergen, as the weddding planner to beat all wedding planners, narrates the movie.. for some reason..?)

This movie’s central premise seems to be that all women care about is their weddings. It’s the most important thing in their lives, and they will stab their best friends in the back to make their day perfect. Because all women are shrews, and haha! all men are hapless and are pushovers. (Or are making comments about how men should “control their wives.” In which case, you’re supposed to know that he’s a bad guy – even though, honestly, by that point in the movie I wanted her to shut the hell up, too!)

Maybe if the only way you’ll be happy with your wedding is if it’s at The Plaza, you should re-think your plans.

I’m sad to say I watched the whole movie, hoping for something… worthwhile.

And there was nothing.

It was terrible.

However, “Made of Honor” was still worse…

the honest bride: the cake

Dear people in Chicago,

Have you been to Angel Food Bakery?

If yes, then you’re aware how awesome the place is.

If not, what the hell are you waiting for?

Eric and I had a spectacular time at our cake tasting today.  We got to meet Angel Food owner Stephanie Samuels and taste three of their wonderful creations.

We decided on a three-tier chocolate cake with textured buttercream frosting. Inside, two tiers will have espresso cream filling and one tier will have raspberry filling. The cake will be accented with blackberries and, probably, candied pansies.

Yeah, we’re on a bit of a sugar rush right now.

But in all seriousness, you Chicago folks should head there pronto to sample their awesome baked goods – including the legendary “airstream,” which is Angel Food’s version of a Twinkie. And they serve Intelligentsia coffee, which is always a win.

Seriously, anyone who wants to head there for brunch with me, let me know! (AFB is located at Paulina and Montrose, fyi.)

Yeah. Angel Food Bakery is made of win.

And scene.

the honest bride: the shoes

Thank you Nine West.

Thank you DSW.

I knew I wanted purple shoes for my wedding – yes, to wear under my traditionally white dress. Purple is a color that means a lot to me, and makes me happy.

I had originally envisioned a more strappy purple shoe. Maybe in satin, something that looked more prom-like.

But then, Eric and I went to DSW this afternoon to kill some time before our cake tasting (blog to come about that!) and to find black flats, and there these were.

And they’re fantastic.

Shoes, done.

I’m elated.

I’m just sad I have to wait months to wear them.

Go team wedding.

the honest bride: girly underthings

When Aleisha was in town a few weeks before her wedding, we went on a city-wide search to find her bridal lingerie.

We failed miserably at Victoria’s Secret (as they seemed to be all about cotton oversized tees that day), we tried Filene’s Basement and TJ Maxx, we tried Macys, we tried everywhere, and finally just as we had decided it was hopeless, we stopped into a wedding boutique on Armitage and asked for their reccomendation. 

The nice lady handed us a business card for G Boutique.

http://www.boutiqueg.com/

The next day, we headed to Bucktown/Wicker Park/whatever the hell area that is, and walked into bridal lingerie wonderland.  Seriously. Corsets and panties and lace and pink things and tulle and all around all-encompassing gorgeousness.

Now that I know where to go, can I just say I am over the moon excited to shop for my own bridal lingerie?

What a silly, girly thing to be excited about, right?

I’m also getting excited to figure out my wedding perfume. Though perfume as a whole freaks me out – so many kinds, so many bottles – I am fortunate to lave Lady Fragrence herself, Miss Betsy Morgan, on my side. I love Nina Ricci, but theres a whole world of other perfumes out there, and Miss Thing and I are going to make a date to hit up Sephora and other stores to find just the right one.

And shoes – Oh man, I am looking so forward to finding my wedding shoes.

….Girly things! Whee!

the honest bride: getting buff

No one wants to be a fat bride.

Say whatever you want about beauty being on the inside.

When it comes to wedding photos and dresses and everything else, beauty is the name of the game.

Basically, it’s the day you’re supposed to be as radiant as you can possibly be.

Thank goodness I lost 40 pounds over the last (almost) two years.

The photo to the left was the photo that started all my dieting and fitness focus. (Ironically, it was taken on the night I first met Eric, though neither of us realized our quick introduction would be life changing at the time.)

Seeing this photo triggered a life change for me. Gone was the super high-calorie cheese fries and mountain dew late-night diet. Gone were the bagels and cream cheese every morning. This photo ushered in a whole new life for me, and without it I wouldn’t even be getting married, I’m sure of it. Without the changes this photo inspired, I would never have had the confidence to tackle something like “Radium Girls,” which is where I re-met Eric and my whole life changed so much for the better.

All that said, I’m still thirteen pounds from the goal weight I’d like to be, which is actually quite perfect, timing-wise. I’m a person who needs dates and specific goals to achieve things, and having 6 months to lose 13 pounds is perfect (and almost too easy.)

I’ve slated 3 races before the end of the year, am back to working out every day, and back to calorie watching.

I’ve begun a Pilates program.

Because I will not be a fat bride.

I refuse.

the honest bride: to veil or not to veil?

“Brides used to wear their hair flowing down their back at their wedding to symbolise their virginity, now the white diaphanous veil is often said to represent this.” – wikipedia.

I’m anti-veil.

To me, it just seems old-fashioned, like a ritual that once made sense and now doesn’t.

Like as a bride, you have to hide your face until you’re married – and then you can be revealed?

And don’t even get me started on the double-standard of women who are marriage-worthy being expected to remain virgins while men are expected to sow their wild oats before settling down.

Maybe I’m over-analyzing it, and maybe it’s hyper-feminist of me, but I don’t want one.

It’s partially from a disbelief in the ritual aspect, but also for a comfort factor. I cannot imagine tulle on my face during my wedding is going to be comfortable, and who wants to spend their whole wedding ceremony itching? And, I’m probably going to spend a chunk of money getting my hair and make-up done, why cover it up?

And, have you priced veils yet?

Easily $400 for a piece of tulle and some combs.

Lame.

My Mom is way into the idea of me wearing a veil – particularly a birdcage veil. Though I appreciate her sense of style (birdcage veils are the cutest of the veils I’ve seen so far) I’m just against it.

Look, I’m already gonna have a bridal party and bouquets and a white dress and ringbearers and a champagne toast and everything… there are enough traditional aspects already, considering Eric and I aren’t that much into tradition.

I’m gonna have to say no to the veil.

I’m seriously thinking purple flowers in my hair? Thoughts?

Mr. and Mrs. Evans…

…or should I say Lieutenant and Mrs. Brendan and Aleisha Evans.. ?:)

Aleisha and Brendan got married this weekend in Traverse City, Michigan, and Eric and I road-tripped our way to Cherryland to attend the festivities.

It was a lovely ceremony and reception with lots of tears (I have never cried at a wedding before, but I cried twice!) and lots of joy. I also got a chance to be a bridesmaid for the first time ever, and learned several things I will surely put into play regarding my own upcoming wedding. Namely, the importance of the Best Man and Maid of Honor. Brian and Michelle need mad props for keeping things running smoothly, whether it was slipping away like a ninja to find the brides MIA camera, or keeping temper tantrum throwing ringbearers from crushing the train of a wedding dress. It’s good to have good people on your side, and Michelle and Brian were great.

It was also a weekend of reunions, as joining me in le bridal party was Ms. Jessica Robbins, who was my freshman year roomate at Central Michigan University. We haven’t seen each other in like five years, but it was quickly like no time had passed. She’s still as hilarious as ever.

And, though some key members of “The Clique” were absent, we still found time to catch up. Hooray for Chris making the trek from “Not Detroit” to attend.

A parting shot of the gorgeous couple – who are now crossing the country en route to their new home in Corpus Christi Texas before jaunting off to Rome for their honeymoon.

Congrats, kids~!

the honest bride: the dress

Dear Bridal Industry,

You snobs can do your worst to try and convince me that the more I spend on my dress (and, in fact, on the wedding in general) the happier I’ll be.

The dress above is by Oleg Cassini, and I’ll be wearing it on my wedding day.

Though I applaud giant cake dresses (I think Aleisha’s mother of a dress is fantastic) I just don’t think they’re very “me,” so I went looking for something else – and this is her.

Other than the 7ish inches that need to come off the bottom because I am not an alien basketball player – it fits perfectly. But that’s why there are tailors.

The only thing I’m demanding is that Eric not see me IN the dress until the ceremony. He’s seen this pic, so I don’t see any point in keeping it a big surprise, as it’s already hanging in my closet and I love it dearly.

I consider this dress proof positive that money does not equate awesomeness, despite what bridal magazines want you to believe.

While Mavis was in town a few weeks ago, we watched an episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” that featured a 23 year old bride-to-be named Bernadette who was having a terrible time finding a dress she liked at Kleinfelds. The staff – and even the fashion director – busted their butts to help her, but she shot down every dress right and left for a variety of reasons – she hates lace, she hates belts, she doesn’t want the top and bottom of the dress to look like seperate pieces but doesn’t like the single-dress look either…? Something is clearly up. Finally, FashionDirector went to the mother and asked what was up – Turns out Bernadette had found a dress she loved at another store, but was worried it didn’t cost enough…..it was UNDER $1000. Mhmmm. Exactly.

(Bernadette in one of like 4 trillion gowns she tried on.)